Oh the things my 2 year old says

So I post on facebook pretty frequently about the funny things that Carson says, so here they are, in all their silly, cute, smarty pants glory :)

Ok, Ok, this was was from like 5 days before he turned 2...
On the potty: (he's totally squeezing himself)
"pee pee come out!" apparently he thinks you have to squeeze the pee out with your hands
"pee pee turn on!"
"pee pee not working!" *angry toddler face*
more squeezing
..."pee pee come out!!!!"
and then...pee, all over my bathroom floor, not so much actually into the potty...dang boys and their "aim" or lack thereof..at least he tried!

So Bryan and I are joking around and he says something silly, to which I reply "your face" so he says "your mom" and Carson goes "your Carson!"
apparently he felt left out lol

Carson: "Where my keys?"
...finds keys...picks up a bag...
"Carson go knitting night all by self"
...walks to the door and tries to leave.
Yep, apparently if I am not home it means I am at knit night, and he decided he needed to join me lol (I was actually at a dr. appt)

Carson: I want to read this book
Me: ok, we can read that book as soon as you let me change your diaper
Carson: I read it myself!
Then he walked away....

Carson: what's that?
Me: zucchini and yellow zucchini and corn
Carson: I don't like it
Me: Carson its yummy, you love vegetables
Carson: Oh! Its vegables? I like vegables! I eat it?
Me: yes Carson you get to eat it when its all finished cooking
Carson: yay vegables! I eat when all finish cooking!

Carson: I pregnant!
Me: You're pregnant? I thought mommy was pregnant.
Carson: Oh yea, mommy pregnant, I not pregnant...that's silly.

clearly we live in a place with no sun....in the car today:
Carson: Mommy, its bright!
Me: Sorry Carson, cover your eyes
Carson: Mommy its bright! Turn it off!
Me: Carson, cover your eyes, we're almost home
...Carson: Mommy its bright! it hurts my eyes! Turn it off!
yep, we live in the land of no sun ever

So we put Carson to bed tonight, and a little while later he came downstairs...so we took him back to bed...and a little while after that I see the tiniest piece of his face peeking around the corner on the stairs like he's wondering if he'll get caught...then he sees that I see him and comes out from behind the corner and announces "...I nakey!"
at least he left the diaper on....

ahh bedtime...so we went through the usual put Carson to bed, he gets up, put him back to bed, etc...we're sitting downstairs and we hear little feet, expecting to see a 2 year old round the corner any minute...and nothing. silence. So Bryan goes up to check, but Carson is not in his room, so Bryan goes to our room, where Carson is sitting on our bed, in the dark, holding the remote and trying to turn on the tv...the next night the same thing happened, except that this time he turned the tv on, navigated his way through on demand, and turned on Special Agent Oso...

Daddy: What are you cutting up for Carson? Is that a peach?
Carson: Its called a Nectarine, Daddy! Its called a nectarine!! (he continued this for the following 5 minutes as he ate the nectarine)

Carson: C starts Carson!
Me: good job Carson! do you know how we spell Carson?
Carson: Cc-ah-errr-sss-ooo-nnnn
thats right, he spells it by saying the letter sounds lol (he has since learned to spell out his name by saying C-a-r-s-o-n instead of the letter sounds)

Carson: Mommy I hungry, I want jellybeans
Me: If you're hungry you need to eat real food, jelly beans wont make you full. Are you hungry?
Carson: No, I not hungry, I full. I want jellybeans.
because logically, if jellybeans will not make you full, and you have to eat real food when you're hungry, then you should eat jellybeans when you're already full....