A little slice of advice...

Kelly at Kelly's Korner asked if you could give one piece of parenting advice, what would it be? So here's mine.

Be confident in your parenting. You will get so much unsolicited advice as a parent, especially when you're a new parent. Some of it will be great advice, and that is awesome. But a lot of it is going to suck. All that sucky crap? Don't let it get you down. And don't let it make you question things you know are right for your family, because that is different for every family. If someone tells you that you should do X but all of you instincts say to do Y? Then tell them you're glad X worked so well for them, but this is what works for your family. Don't ever let someone else make you feel badly about the way you parent.

check out more parenting tips by lots of other bloggers over at Kelly's Korner :)

Clearly I'm the biggest Jerk in the Whole World

Seriously, that is how I felt today. Carson and I were in the kitchen making guacamole earlier, I was already a bit annoyed because I can't find one of the pieces of my chopper thing, which I did not realize when I bought all the stuff for guacamole, so I was having to mince the garlic, shallots, and jalapeno by hand (lame!) which is so not my thing, I'm a super lazy cook.

Earlier this week I hurt my back pretty severely; like I actually went to the doctor for it because I seriously could not move, that is saying a lot because I really hate going to the doctor and try to avoid it at pretty much all costs. So today was literally the first day that I was able to stand for more than about 3 minutes without literally crying in pain. I know, I know, you're wondering where the heck I'm going with all of this and what my back injury has to do with guacamole or me being a jerk...I promise I'm getting there. So, along with the back hurting I'm sure you can imagine that if I bend wrong, it doesn't feel so hot.

So we're (ok, mostly just me) making guacamole and Carson is mostly just playing in the kitchen with me, which is really what I was going for anyway since I had to chop everything up by hand and I didn't want to slice his fingers off...seriously, me+huge chef knife? accident waiting to happen. Although I do have to go ahead and tip my hat to myself because I totally minced the crap outta that stuff (thank you food network for teaching me how to properly use a chef knife)

Ok, so Carson is playing and being his normal two year self and we were packing earlier (we're moving in like a week and a half...holy crap that's soon, I should get off the computer and pack) and I had some d-rings...ya know those d-shaped things for making adjustable straps on things...if you sew you probably know what I'm talking about. Anyway, he wanted to play with the d-rings and I was like sure kid, go for it, I don't even remember why I bought them in the first place....

So he's playing with them and being and just doing what 2 year olds do I guess and he decides that it would be a good idea to slide them up the back of my leg from Achilles tendon up the back of my calf...well I'm really ticklish (can you see where this is going) So I squirm because I'm fridiculously ticklish and it hurt my back SO badly that I almost collapsed...no seriously, my back is *that* injured. So I say "Carson, please don't do that, it really hurts mommy"

Back to chopping.

He does it again...:"Carson, mommy asked you not to do that, please do not do it again or I will take the d-rings away"

"No mommy! Don't take them!"

More chopping.

And he does it again and it HURT! So in my pain and annoyance and serious freaking pain and omg I just realized I missed my last dose of muscle relaxer and ibuprofen that I was due for an hour ago and I am SO paying for it...

And I LOST it.

And I YELLED at him that "If you do that to mommy ever again you are going STRAIGHT to bed right this second. You need to listen to mommy!!!!!!"

And because I'm a huge ass-hat, I went right back to chopping...

I turn around like a minute later when I'm cooled off and he is laying face down on the kitchen floor.

"Buddy, what's wrong?"

"I just sad" *sniffle*

"I'm sorry baby"

Silence.

"Do you want to go read a story and cuddle together?"

pout*nod*pout

"Ok bud, pick out a book"...and to my husband I say "I'm really hot, will you turn the a/c on?"

"Mommy's just hot and Carson's just sad"

"Why are you sad baby?"

"Mommy just yelled at Carson"

I am the biggest ass ever.

Don't get me wrong, the kid was not listening and its not like I don't think he should be disciplined, but I should have calmly taken away the freaking d-ring like I said I would, not hard-core yelled at him. I seriously hurt his feelings. Bright side? He was over it 2 stories later and told me he wasn't sad anymore.

"I just happy now mom"

But I still feel like the worst mom ever.

Being Gluten and Dairy Free Kinda Sucks

When Carson was a baby he had a dairy intolerance, so that meant no dairy for mama because he was nursing. Eventually he grew out of it, which is great, and apparently relatively common. I got used to it after a while and it wasn't completely terrible, but that isn't to say that I wasn't totally glad to be able to eat cheese again.

Sawyer came along and for weeks he had this insane lime green poop (I know you totally wanted to know all about my kid's poop) first I thought maybe it was a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance, that can cause green poop. So I tried block feeding, but no help. So then we moved on to removal of dairy from my diet. No change in the poop, but he stopped being congested all. the. time. After a couple weeks I was thinking gee this really isn't helping and I really miss cheese. Then we had a new symptom...sandy textured lime green poop. Which can be a sign of gluten intolerance.

So away went my all my gluten filled foods. Within a few days he was showing improvement, his poop was the normal mustard yellow color you'd expect from an exclusively breastfed baby...and he started being happier about life in general. But then I reintroduced the dairy thinking it hadn't really been helping and apparently it was because then we got crabby baby with blood in his poop and never ending congestion.

So then I started no gluten and no dairy...it's been about a week and a half of being free of both things and Sawyer just laid on his play mat batting at toys and cooing for like 15 minutes straight. He's also slept a lot today, like normal 3 months old type sleep.

BUT not eating like anything totally sucks. Some things you can fake....but some things you can't. And when I made Carson a grilled cheese sandwich and it sat there and stared at me all gooey and cheese and bready and wonderful? Total suckage.

But a happy baby is totally worth it.

Do you kids have any allergies or intolerances? My friends have given me some great tips/resources for going gluten free...do you have any tips to share?

He's "Healthy"

Yesterday I went to the doctor (I hurt my back, its a really lame story...) and of course I had Sawyer with me because the kids eats boobies and only boobies. I'll go ahead and interject in here that I really hope I can get the kid to take a bottle of pumped breastmilk soon because I would really love to go out on a date with my husband for our fifth anniversary which is rapidly approaching...anyway...So the we're talking about what the doctor was going to prescribe me and how I'm nursing and he said he wanted to make sure that whatever he gave me was ok because he didn't want to mess with my kid's only food source. then apparently he caught himself assuming that Sawyer was only on the boob juice and asked how old he was and if he was exclusively breastfeeding. I said he's 3 months and yes, won't even take a bottle of pumped milk (the kid just doesn't get that that should come out of anywhere else I guess) He told me that Sawyer looked really healthy.

I get that to a lot of people that's probably not like a huge deal...but it made me so incredibly happy. Here's why...Carson was diagnosed as Failure To Thrive (FTT) as an infant. I had a low milk supply and had to supplement with formula. From the tome Carson was 4 months old until he was 11 months old he gained about 2 lbs total. He fell from about the 60th%ile for weight all the way to not even on the chart. I fought for every single ounce that baby gained. Today I came across his 6 month stats. At 6 months old he was 14 lbs 13.5 oz and 27" Sawyer is only 3 months old right now, he is approximately 16 lbs and 27" He's never had a single drop of anything but breastmilk. So when I hear that he's healthy, I practically want to cry with joy. I did that! My body did that...ya know, what it was made to do but somehow couldn't quite do last time? It seriously just makes me so happy...I just wanted to share :)

for comparison...this is Sawyer today at 3 months old


And here is Carson at EIGHT months old and approximately 15-ish lbs and 28 or 29 inches...

Love This Kid's Imagination!

We've had some trouble lately getting Carson to help clean up (read: OMG someone take this kid and return him when he's a well behaved 4 year old; 2 scares me, 3 scares me even more!) This kid has the craziest imagination ever. I mean, it is probably just his age, but I'm seriously in awe of some of he things he comes up with. The problem? A lot of times the things he comes up with are excuses. And a lot of the time I have to stifle laughter while telling him he really needs to pick up whatever it is he needs to pick up because his excuse? Well, its something along the lines of "I can't do that right now mom, first I have to pet a dinosaur" No, really. That is what I'm up against.

Today? We used that imagination to help clean up!

Carson pulled all of the clean (not yet put away) clothes out of the laundry basket...I tried not to pull all my hair out...

It went a little something like this:

Me: Carson, please pick up all the laundry and put it back in the basket.
Carson: No I just need to walk through this forest first
Me: *puzzled expression* Uhm, Ok, but I need you to pick up the mess you made please
Carson: Mommy that's just step 3, first I need to do step 1
Me: What's step 1?
Carson: Step one is just walk through this forest
Me: Ok, walk through the forest, then pick up the clothes.
Carson: Noooooooooooooooooo! Clothes is jut step threeeeeeee moooooooooommmmmmmm! I have to do step 2 first!!! *whine* *whine*
Me: *trying not to claw my ears off* whiningandmommydon'tmix. Ok Carson, what's step 2?
Carson: I don't know.
Me: *lightbulbs going off* Ok Carson, walk through the forest.
Carson: I did do that. What's step 2?
Me: uhm...Step 2 is jump up and down.
Carson: OK!!! *jumps up and down*
Me: Ok, do step 3 now, pick up the laundry!
Carson: Ok! *picks up laundry

Mom win!

Carson: 41859023571050
Mom: 1

Let's talk about Carseats

If you know me, you know that I'm sort of a carseat nut. Really, it is all about the safety of my kids. Car crashes are the leading cause of death in children, so of course I want to do everything I can to keep my kids safe in the car. People tend to get really defensive about their carseat usage though, like you're judging their parenting. There are so very many parenting hot-button issues; breastfeeding or formula, cloth diapers or disposables, co-sleeping or crib sleeping...you get the drift. All of these things are reasonably arguable but then it comes down to it, they really are a "what works for our family" type of issue. Carseats are not. A friend posted this a while back, just after the AAP officially released their statement recommending that children stay rear facing until AT LEAST 2 years and 30 lbs, and I wholeheartedly agree with her:

"Every other parenting issue can be turned into an "it works better for our family" argument, but you cannot argue with the laws of physics. It might work better for me if my children could float, but gravity does not care what I think. The same goes for momentum and force when it comes to a hunk of steel traveling at a high rate of speed coming to a  sudden stop. It really doesn't matter what you think you know or what you want; physics cannot be overcome by your opinion. It infuriates me that people think this is a "it works better for us" issue. No, no it's not. Your opinion is not above the laws of physics.  It may make your child happier to forward face. It may make it easier for you to get them in the car or keep your seats cleaner or feed your child in the car. But when an accident happens, none of that "better for us" stuff makes a bit of difference."

See that's the thing, people hear that the government is trying to tell them what to do with their kid, and to an extent, yes they are, but they also mandate that you, as an adult, wear a seatbelt, and most people agree that that is the safe thing to do. And yet everyone gets their panties in a bunch when it comes to carseat safety. The law says that a child MUST rear face until 1 year AND 20 lbs, this is the absolute legal minimum, and even that some people have a hard time with, apparently a whole lot of parents don't know what the work "and" means and decide it is either or, it is not, the word is "and" but this is the bare minimum. When it comes to safety don't you want to do what is best practice? I do. Research indicates that it is 5 times safer for a child under 2 years old to be rear-facing. The AAP and the NHTSA both recommend rear facing until at least 2 years and 30 lbs, but preferably to the limits of your rear facing convertible seat.

There are exactly 2 words that it took to convince me that rear facing for as long as possible was the bet choice. Those words are "internal decapitation" The spinal cord is only capable of stretching about 1/4" before it severs, however in small children the cartilage and bone around the spinal cord have not fully ossified until somewhere between age 3 and 4, due to the large size of a small child's head in proportion to their body, in a car crash a forward facing child's head can slam forward and with the not yet fully developed bones to keep their spinal cord from stretching, they can suffer severe, sometimes life ending, damage to their spinal cord.

This is why at 2 years 9 months old, my older son is still happily rear facing.

A lot of parents have 'reasons' for forward facing their kids...and a lot of those reasons are crap.

*They can't see out the window....I call serious BS on this one. My sweet little Carson tells me each and every thing he sees out his windows when we're in the car. "look mom a red car!" "look mom a bird" "mommy I see horses" you get the drift. he absolutely can see out the car.

*Their legs are uncomfortable....Actually, most forward facing kids will complain that they are uncomfortable because their legs fall asleep since they don't reach the floor and dangle. A rear-facing kid's legs may seem uncomfy to you, but think about all the crazy positions kids sit that would make an adult sore just looking at them....remember those not-yet-developed bones and cartilage I talked about? That is what makes them so very bendable and totally fine in the car.

*Their legs will get broken in a crash....Also untrue, there are FAR more cases of broken legs in forward facing children than rear facing kids. In crashes that are severe enough to cause broken legs in a rear facing child, there is a very good chance that the same crash would cause severe spinal damage or death in a forward facing kid. Plus its a heck of a lot easier to heal and broken leg than a broken back. "Broken leg? Cast it. Broken back? Casket" The saying may be harsh, but it is valid.

So fellow parents, have I convinced you?

The Rundown on Baby Wearing

I love babywearing. My toddler LOVES babywearing. And the newb? Well, he could go either way I suppose, sometimes he loves it, sometimes he hates it, I really wish he would just love it all the time. We own a lot of carriers by my own standards, maybe not too many by some other people's standards, but I'll tell you all about what have and what we love.

The Stretchy Wrap:
The two most popular are the Moby Wrap and the Sleepy Wrap, stretchy wraps are also super easy to DIY, you just need about 5 yards of a good knit interlock fabric, cut it down from the bolt width to about 20-30 inches wide (by 5 yards long) you can leave it as is because knits don't ravel or you can serge around it for a more finished look. Stretchy wraps are great for new babies and front carries. When a baby gets to be over about 20 lbs or so the wrap can get a little stretched out by their weight and you have to constantly tighten it, so its best for small babies. Stretchy wraps should also NEVER be used for back carries as the baby can fall out if they flail backwards. I like a stretchy wrap for the newborn stage, and I've noticed for my babies the stretch is nice for calming them down because it can feel womb-like. Here is Sawyer in a front-wrap-cross-carry (FWCC) at about 1 month old.



The Ring Sling:
Great for nursing small babies, nice for a quick and easy hip carry for a toddler, the ring sling is great for short periods of time and a quick in and out. Our sling is made by me. If you make your own, just make sure you get GOOD rings, you don't want your baby getting hurt! We got our rings from slingrings.com they have great prices, a huge selection of colors, super fast shipping and excellent quality rings. The downside of the ring sling is that all of the weight is on one shoulder, this can get a little uncomfortable after a long period of time. Here is Carson nice and cozy in the sling at about 5 months old.



The Woven Wrap:
I LOVE woven wraps! They are extremely versatile. You can carry a newborn or a toddler in a woven wrap. You can do about a million different front, back, and hip carries. If I were stuck on a desert island and could only have one carrier, it would absolutely be a woven wrap. There are some woven wraps that I dream about having, but they are spendy and my bank account is against me having one right now, BUT they're easy to DIY. You do have to be sure to get a good fabric for a woven wrap though, any old thing wont do if you're wanting to wear it a lot. Also, you have to think about how often you're going to be using it, sure $150 sounds like a lot but if you plan to exclusively use a wrap and no stroller, then it starts sounding like it isn't that huge a price tag. For now, we have two woven wraps that are home made. One is made of gauze (if you buy gauze at Joann Fabrics, make sure you get their "crinkle cotton" as the stuff they have labeled as "gauze" is not true gauze and isn't sturdy enough) our other woven wrap is seersucker, if you're buying from Joann's they also have osnaburg which makes a good woven wrap as well. Or you can buy a didymos wrap and I'll droll all over it and live vicariously through you, ok?

My favorite carries for the woven wrap? It depends on which kiddo I'm wearing and what my mood is at the time. Right now my favorite carry for Sawyer is a Back Wrap Cross Carry (BWCC) modified with ruck straps and tied Tibetan. My favorite carry for Carson is BWCC with a chest belt. Check out thebabywearer.com or YouTube for lots and lots of ways to wrap your baby in a woven wrap. Back carries are great for trying to get things done, like making dinner or vacuuming. Carson LOVES to be in a back carry in a woven wrap, its by far his favorite, if he even sees the wrap he will bring it to me and ask "mommy can I be in carrier?" Now if only Sawyer was so happy about being in a back carry, he's still not so sure. I have, however, mastered the superman toss to get him up there! The only real downside to the woven wrap (at least in my opinion) is that there is a learning curve to it, I mean, there is a learning curve to pretty much all carriers, but I feel like the woven wrap has the most learning to it, but once you know what you're doing? It is absolutely AMAZING!

This isn't me (obviously) this was taken from the Didymos website, but it is my FAVORITE wrap, the Didymos jacquard in lime waves...I'm in loooooooooooove with it!



The Soft Structured Carrier:
This is probably the most main-stream of carriers. You want to make sure you stay away from things like the Snugli or the Baby Bjorn, they are what babywearers refer to as "crotch danglers" because the crotch of the carrier is to narrow its very bad for a baby's hips, the entirety of your baby's weight is resting on their crotch. You want something that is wide, so that the baby's weight is spread from one knee pit to the other knee pit. The two most well known are the Ergo and the Beco, both are super awesome and totally worth the price tag if you can swing it. We have a Beco, which I thankfully was able to find second-hand for about $30, but I will tell you now that I have it and know how awesome it is, I would have absolutely scrimped and saved up to buy a new one full price if I hadn't found one used. The Beco and Ergo can be used for front and back carries, they have straps like a backpack and clip into place. They're great for quick in and out like the ring sling, but have much better weight distribution. The Beco is my go-to grocery shopping carrier because its quick. I usually keep it in the car. It is also a great carrier for carrying one baby on my back and the other on my front, I put one kiddo in a wrap and the other in the beco. If you're new to baby wearing and don't want keep track of how to wrap, this is a great way to go. There are also some great tutorials and patterns out there for making your own, they require a bit more sewing skills than making a wrap and you have to make sure to buy good quality buckles, places like REI or other sporting goods stores generally have good ones with their rock climbing equipment, remember this is going to hold your baby so you don't want something flimsy!

I have a different pattern, but this is the beco butterfly 2:


The Mei Tai:
The Mei Tai is similar to the soft structured carrier but with ties instead of buckles, this makes it a little more adjustable than the SSC. The Babyhawk is one of the more popular ones, but it is also something you can DIY with some basic sewing skills. Ours is a DIY mei tai and its ok but I sort of winged it so while it worked great when Carson was small, I did not make the body of it tall enough for a toddler. Here's a Babyhawk:



So do you babywear? What is you favorite type of carrier?

Blog Revival

I started this blog oh so very long ago, and then life got in the way, and it got set aside. But it is time for a comeback. In the time since my last post a lot has changed in my life. I'm 23 now, I am officially a college graduate (woohoo!) and not only has my sweet little Carson done a whole lot of growing up (I really can't believe he's coming up on three already) but we also have our sweet new baby Sawyer, he was born in April. I really do want this blog to be shared with people, for people to learn something, for me to learn from others, and now that I'm finally done with school, I need an outlet, and I've got a little more time on my hands.